So I just happened across a piece of paper that my Dad wrote on. The date is 3/15/2008. 

“I don’t think there is a chance in hell of working out a long term, peaceful, loving relationship with [my mom]. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. I thought I’d end up with someone who would love me for being me. That’s what I really need. I’m not better, of course. I’d like to see [my mom] act differently, just accept who I am, not need to be agreed with, not have to control everything. The truth is, I’ve come to view [my mom] as the most self-centered, selfish person I’ve ever known. And I still love her. But her pig-headed nature and pushiness makes me just want to be alone - loneliness is better than rejection.”

Well isn’t that just the most fucking depressing scrap of paper to find? I’m not blind, I know their marriage sucks. It has for as long as I can remember. It still hurts to read this though. My dad is such a good person and my mom is sucking the life out of him slowly but surely. He deserves to be happy. I don’t fucking understand why they don’t just get a divorce already. There is absolutely no point in staying in a marriage where both parties are completely miserable. It makes me so angry that my mom treats my dad so terribly. I witness it every day and I hardly ever speak up about it. It wouldn’t do any good though, she’d just get angrier. I hope when I get married it doesn’t turn out like this. Even the slightest possibility that my life could come to this makes me scared shitless. 

#personal  #family  #broken home  #divorce  #hatred  #love  #life sucks  #wow  

1. pillsinmynoseandcutstothebone posted this